BLACK LABEL EMPIRE
"Chronicle of the Rescue of a BLE Photographer"
www.blacklabelempire.com


"Chronicle of the Rescue of a BLE Photographer"
by Michael J. Cox

It started out with rain, very much rain followed by Phillip. All was
well when we stopped at every gas station in Kentucky, as Patti
needed snacks and chocolate drinks.

Later, we arrived in St. Louis as Patti slept peacefully in the back
of the truck (Bodean managed to stay awake on coffee and
cigarettes; the chauffeuring Patti of Playboy Lounge was not to be
found).

Then, we arrived in Litchfield, Illinois, the most dreadful place in
all of the great United States of America. We met BLE photographer
Karla at Denny's over breakfast (Bodean had cereal and toast)
while Bodean worried whether or not he would make it to work by
one.

After breakfast, we headed to the impound lot. Bodean was pulled
over for pulling over on the side of the road to wait for Karla. The
fuzz demanded that Bodean's license be made available; Bodean
obliged out of courtesy. Once the fuzz sucked Bodean's plastic dick,
the caravan proceeded to find the hick of the manor of the impound
lot; much like the Patti of Playboy Lounge, the hick was not to be
found.

Karla phoned the hick. He arrived later, only to curse us and call us
"stupid"; apparently, we had no business driving through Illinois.
After much arguing and cursing, a State Trooper arrived threatening
to throw us all in jail. He did not, but did manage to write Karla's
main squeeze a ticket. Likewise, he informed the main squeeze that
he is not do be caught driving in Illinois, else he chooses to go to
jail.

Back on hick manor, Patti informed the state trooper, for no apparent
reason whatsoever, that he and Bodean are in a band, for no
apparent reason whatsoever. The trooper was not amused. The
trooper sided with the hick of the manor, as Karla's bill was inflated
fifty percent for no apparent reason whatsoever. Patti and Bodean
drove Karla's main squeeze out of Illinois.

Afterwards, we get the hell out of Litchfield and vow never to return
again (FUCK the police).

Bodean never made it to work.